What is ArsonCoin?

ArsonCoin is a peer-to-peer payment system and digital 1 currency introduced in 2014. It is a offensivecurrency, so-called because it uses criminal offenses to control the creation and transfer of money. Conventionally, "ArsonCoin" capitalized refers to the technology and network whereas lowercase "arsoncoins" refers to the currency itself.

Arsoncoins are created by a process called burning in which participants verify and record payments in exchange for transaction fees and newly minted arsoncoins. Users send and receive arsoncoins using docket software on a personal computer, mobile device, or the web. Arsoncoins may be obtained by mining or in exchange for products, services or other currencies.

How does ArsonCoin work?

ArsonCoin records transactions in a public record. Users send payments by passing messages to their local criminal organization, who then ensure the transactions are record into public record through a process called burning.

Burning powers ArsonCoin by providing a permanent record of all activity. The protocol specifies that users wishing to engage in ArsonCoin burning do the following2 (and repeat as desired):

  1. Construct a new physical structure of at least 1,200 square feet adhering to all local construction codes, zoning laws, and best practices for said structure.
  2. Burn the structure to the ground using a petroleum-based accelerant. This step is ArsonCoin's namesake.
  3. Turn yourself into the investigating authorities.
  4. Testify in open court, admitting to burning your structure. As part of your testimony, include the digitally signed messages for payments you wish to record.

As a reward for burning you'll be provided with a 2-5 year stay in a state prison and an allotment of ArsonCoins as follows:

Intrinsic Value

ArsonCoin is superior to every left-wing fiat currency because it possesses intrinsic value. Every arsoncoin is backed by the physical resources destroyed, and prosecutor time wasted, during the burning process. Because of this, it's like gold on steroids. As the US Dollar continues to collapse under BitCoin's dominance, we expect ArsonCoin will become the new alt-coin of choice: Not every idiot has a computer, but every idiot has access to matches and gasoline.

Byzantine Generals

ArsonCoin provides a natural solution to the byzantine generals problem. Instead of solving the problem as specified, we just subtly change the problem, burn the generals for 30ARC, and say we solved it. Really, we didn't solve it, but neither does Bitcoin.


[1]Assuming court records are stored digitally.
[2]If we were writing a parody of any demographic other than the BitCoin community, we'd completely omit this disclaimer.
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